Turtledroppings.com – Maryland Football And Basketball Blog

The idea behind this was to do a series of reports previewing the University of Maryland vs. the University of Nevada Bowl Game in a non traditional sort of way.  This particular preview (part of our yet to be determined number of previews) was supposed to focus on the Alumni of the two Universities to see who would come out on top.  Unfortunately, and nothing against Nevada, the Wolfpack don’t really have the ammo for this shoot out.  In years past I would disqualify famous athletes, just because for some of the bigger schools the lists would get too lengthy.  For this preview however, I’m going to make an exception. Nevada can use all of their professional athletes and Maryland can not, unless that athlete is famous for accomplishments off the field or is a famous “non-revenue” athlete (or as one of our other contributors calls, an Olympic sports athlete).  But even then this isn’t a fair fight.
 
Now Nevada (I’ll pretend people from Nevada read our blog and care what we say, so stick with me for a minute), there is nothing to be ashamed of.  Let’s face it, we are a major state University on the East Coast that has the whole Baltimore/Washington corridor to pull prospective students from.  You all are relatively isolated and off the beaten path.  Considering the circumstances I think you all are doing just fine and I’ve learned a lot about your school while doing this research.  Heck if I had it to do all over again, I’d consider applying (Don’t get me wrong, Maryland’s home, but they have legalized gambling for God’s sake!!). 
 
So let’s begin.  Here are the top Famous People from the University of Nevada, not to ruin any surprises, but the Wolfpack could field pretty solid MLB baseball team:
 
Nevada’s Starting Line Up for this face off is:
1. Charles Mann
2. Lyle Overbay
3. Nate Burleson
4. Mills Lane
5. Kevin Kousmanoff
6. Ryan Church
7. Jennifer Harman
Wild Card- Charles Douglas
 
For Maryland the starting line up is:
1. Jim Henson
2. Larry David
3. Dominique Dawes
4. Connie Chung
5. Bonnie Bernstein
6. Scott Van Pelt
7. Tim Kurkjian
Wild card- Valerie Solanas
 
First off is a tough one.  Charles Mann is held in pretty high regard in the DC area, and was a 4 time pro bowler, however, Jim Henson created the Muppets which are probably recognized more world wide than Charles Mann.  Sorry Skins fan, but I’m going with Kermit on this one.  Terps 1 Nevada 0.
 
The second match up features Lyle Overbay and Larry David.  Lyle Overbay is one of the more underrated OF’s in MLB.  But he does have a habit of grounding into too many double plays.  Larry David however created Seinfeld, and the countless pop culture references that it went on to spawn.  Sorry Lyle, but Larry David is the master of this domain.  Terps 2 Nevada 0.
 
Moving on, next we have Nate Burleson vs. Dominique Dawes.  Nate is currently teammates with Josh Wilson up in Seattle, but he’s been on the IR for most of the year (a good year to sit out for Seattle if you ask me), Dominique Dawes however is a celebrated Olympic champion, who was one of 3 gymnast to compete in 3 different Olympics as well as being the first African American to win an individual medal in gymnastics.  Looking back, maybe I should have moved her up higher.  Terps 3 Nevada 0

Moving on we have Nevada’s Mills Lane vs. Maryland’s Connie Chung.  Now Mills Lane is a famous boxing referee, dare we say the most famous boxing referee in the world, he was also the ref in the famous Mike Tyson-Evander Holyfield uh…incident. Connie Chung, we’ll I’m not exactly sure what she’s been up to.  Perhaps had we done this in the early 90′s this wouldn’t be even close, but I’m going to go with Mills Lane.  I’ll never forget that Ear biting incident, Connie Chung however, I’m not even sure if she is a legitimate journalist anymore.  Of course I don’t get out much.  Congratulations Nevada, you are on the board.  Terps 3 Nevada 1.
 
Next up is Kevin Kousmanoff vs. Bonnie Bernstein.  Kevin Kousmanoff is a rising star in MLB, however he will most likely be remembered as one of the guys who’s name you like to pronounce at your fantasy baseball draft.  Bonnie Bernstein on the other hand is multi-talented.  Now my grandfather would argue that being a sideline reporter isn’t really a talent, but unlike those chicks that are just given a microphone and a dress, Bonnie has done her time as an athlete.  Bonnie was a 4 Time All American Gymnast while at Maryland.  Interestingly enough, Bonnie is no stranger to the Reno area.  Before working for ESPN she worked for KNRV in Reno.  How about that.  Anyway, Terps take this one.  Terps 4 Nevada 1.
 
Now on to the 6th seeds, Ryan Church vs. Scott Van Pelt.  Ryan Church has always been a highly touted MLB prospect, but he never really found his way in DC.  He’s since moved on to the Mets where he again hasn’t quite lived up to his potential, though in his defense his career is still in it’s infancy.  Scott Van Pelt on the other hand is now a famous ESPN anchor.  He daily fights the UNC/Duke Biases in Bristol and loves to give shout outs to the local bars in College Park.  That’s enough for my vote.  Terps 5 Nevada 1.
 
And now the Final Series, Jennifer Harman vs. Tim Kurkjian.  For those who don’t know, Jen Harman is a famous poker player.  A pioneer in a sport (or game depending on your outlook) heavily dominated by men.  Tim Kurkjian covers baseball for ESPN.  I hate anyone who covers baseball for ESPN.  All they do is build up the Yankees and Red Sox, I have nothing personal against Tim here (other than his choice of employment), but lets give it up for the lady!  Terps 5 Nevada 2.
 
Wild Card- Now this division is for the unconventional Alumni, someone who’s name you don’t recognize, but their contribution to society should never be overlooked.  For Nevada we are featuring Charles Douglas.  Who’s Charles Douglas, he is the guy who invented the laugh track!  For anyone who’s ever watched an 80′s sitcom (and who hasn’t) you may not realize it, but you are hearing the results of Chuck’s Blood Sweat and Tears.  Now on the Maryland side we have Valerie Solanas.  Who is that?  Well she is famous for trying to Assassinate Andy Warhol.  I don’t even know where to go with that, but it’s pretty interesting.  So it basically comes down to the laugh track inventor, or a failed assassin.  I hate to do it, but there is one thing I can’t get past.  Laughing is funny, Assassination is not.  It’s a little late, but nice finish Wolfpack.
 
Final Results Terps 5 Nevada 3
 
Extra Droppings
 
What?!?  Wasn’t this article long enough as is?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 at 6:16 am and is filed under Maryland Terps Football. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.